In a sense we all give our power away from time to tine do this here, including men: we give away our power and don’t even realise why. We wonder why we keep running ourselves into exhaustion. How to stop, without guilt or letting someone down.
This can be subtle and it can be very distinct and obvious in nature. Ultimately we love and enjoy to be of service and we naturally give, and love it – for we chose it! For giving is incredibly rewarding. It just feels great! We truly revel in it, yes! And yet as in everything to do with life: there is a balance – for all of us. The question is: do we stop to check whether we have gone out of balance? Do we reflect and decide to adjust an ingrained pattern that has overrun its time?
For example are you giving more than you really want to deep down? Did you get tangled up in doing something once or twice and now it is assumed? Do you feel it is never enough and growing in demand? Do you feel guilty unless you do certain things, fearful to upset someone? Do you have a block around asking for help or a break? Can you share that you are tired and need self-care? Are you seeing yourself as a rescuer (making things better) or the only one who can make a difference (you’re the “strong one”- which is a label only of course!)? Did you sign a (soul) contract at some point to repay something and it goes on and on… ? Do you know the root cause of this role you play? Are you swallowing resentment waiting for something to change by itself? Do you realise that you’re enabling someone’s dysfunction (not empowering them or yourself), but prefer their love and perhaps dependency on you, over their wrath (anger, love withdrawal), so you keep going, trying not to rock the boat? Are you still trying to prove to your mother or father that you are worthy of love and keep acting this out by trying to please them, over-giving and never feeling satisfied, like nothing is ever enough? These are but some of the roles we get caught up in – divinely so … until we are ready to break the cycle.
This is very important to reflect upon – and if you are confused, it helps to start journalling (and being very honest with yourself there) or have a session with me to uncover these concepts which are running your life, draining and disempowering you. For we are meant to (ultimately) keep changing – like the ultimate adaptive, flexible dancer – for life is a dance. It thrives on change, reflection, innovation, love, nurture, evolution, creativity & the embrace of change and its beauty! Change is the only constant. And when we resist change —— we suffer!
To see and reassess habits is vital and incredibly powerful. Get to know your intent. Often when we get too busy, we don’t take the time to think about this, to feel it out, to trust change and our gut.
This is essential, for your wellbeing – for without it we can spend YEARS (if not lifetimes) unconsciously doing the same thing, and feeling awful about it! This of course causes sickness – physically, mentally and spiritually. The great news is this all can heal ands shift!
As a woman we go through very palpable changes even daily. This is a beautiful and also metaphorical gift & reminder & if we know how to embrace it and listen to it, we shall thrive! The moon changes, the role changes are here for all of us to honour, even within the seasonal changes of autumn, winter, spring and summer we can learn so very much …. the cycles of life! … and it is our disconnection from stillness, self-care, reflection, meditative awareness, nature herself through which we end up disempowering ourselves. The great news is that this is natural and we are all in the same boat and had to or have to navigate through this. The other great news is …
… that this can easily change .. for your highest good, with love, ease and grace. And the even better news is that this positively affects your family, loved ones, surroundings and in turn reflects back to you henceforth (another cycle!). As you honour yourself, your magnetism becomes even more aligned with your self-empowered, heart and soul aligned choices and way of living! Anyone who truly loves you will CELEBRATE this WITH YOU! People who like to take your energy and live off you, will not like this. This is where I can support you to support yourself with boundary setting, intention setting and clear graceful steps forward. By the way I am not talking about raising young children. They utterly deserve our time and attention, and with balance this shifts to empower them as they move into adulthood.
So why do we do it?
It has its roots in our unconscious programming! Societal, parental and past lives (if you believe in them). I see this every day in my work with clients! Our unconscious has recorded everything! Even your perceptions in the womb of your mother and her thoughts – her fears in particular – affect us: as they determine our survival. Being welcomed and loved in utero and at birth allows us to feel safe naturally. If we don’t experience or perceive that life is safe (in particular with our primary caregivers), we chase it unconsciously from our external world, through often abusive relationships, triggering more ‘hurt’ or ‘abandonment’, unless we realise to be stable and fulfilled we must go within, for true infinite love, which compares to no external love!
All is within you. And to forgive is freeing. To understand even how your life was created – seeing the BIGGER PICTURE – is inspiring! For you are love, within yourself, so vast and unconditional, beyond words, realising this will have you in utter joy and bliss! And it is there within you always – only believing a belief/thought that goes against this can have you experiencing the opposite!
This where the recognition of our root cause programming makes ALL the difference (and I love doing this work with you as an NLP Master Practitioner, hypnotherapist and yogi & women’s coach). I have witnessed so many women reconnect with their inherent amazing spark and passion for themselves and life as this veil lifts!
The root cause for excessively giving away your power as a woman comes from our ancestry and those fear and ‘what a good woman does and is – programmes’. Like being given away at the wedding hundreds of years ago was seen as highly honourable – serving the man fully. And yes this may have been fulfilling and even wonderful then, but it is not how today’s relationships tend to flourish …we have many old programmes and survival modes that are old programmes no longer useful as we vibrate higher and the collective humanity is raising its consciousness too — these days it is collaborative, embracing unity, non- competitive, we are more of a team that takes turns and all parties are equal and important.
Our roles are fluid and can be uniquely co-created in a loving, respectful and communicative relationship – with your partner, children or boss, so -to-speak. The old paradigms tend to still linger and pop up for many of us, to be cleared – to be seen – some are expressed as utter rebellion or total submission, where the mind makes up various excuses for it all. I have observed and heard so many within myself, friends/loved ones/ the world at large and my clients. I see these excuses so easily now and help women to recognise and lovingly integrate and neutralise them. These are deep – yes – and yet you are way beyond such programmes!
You are infinite, abundant, creative potential!!!
And you are free to choose your life direction and application.
Sooooo ….. Are you aware of what you really want? That is the beginning …. do share with me, your loved ones, wherever you resonate … it is healing and empowering to talk about this and discover your alignment and power as a woman who creates her life …
The other great news is that you can get inspired, grounded, loving support – and you may only need the smallest reminders and encouragement and a few useful techniques to set you to soar high in your soul & heart re-empowerment. It can be very simple, depending on the work you have done already. It can be a divine, delicious process of self discovery and a modified dance – in your divine time! It will create change and new layers to navigate through … and that is why packages and a yearly “soar and be you!” package is the ultimate!
I love holding women’s circles and retreats for this reason. A once a month for time out, to reconsider, to set aligned intent and be inspired, supported and aligned. When we set our GPS for life, we live with joy!
What happens when we don’t consciously set our GPS or intent for life? We wonder why we feel flustered, rushed, dissatisfied, grumpy, unsuccessful and simply non-vibrant vs ALIVE! We are draining our energy by not choosing to assess it and adjust it, through self-love and self-care. If you don’t want to offer this to yourself, usually the outer world reflects this back to you and you keep wondering why people and siltations are not uplifting you, BUT DEPLETING you instead. No affirmation, diet change or going to the gym will suddenly fix this, unfortunately, for it is much deeper – in your unconscious programmed mind – these do help though!!! But unacknowledged, these beliefs and habits can lead to a DOWNWARD SPIRAL! This drains more energy, hope and joy out of you, and nobody wins!
I love win-win-win dynamics! That creates the butterfly effect and uplifts humanity as a whole! We can chose this and empower ourselves and another – with heart and soul (not ego) and truly thrive! Our children’s children will celebrate this remembrance and choice and are cheering us on right now!
Are you in? How do we change all this you may ask? By recognising the energy drains, the reason for having lived this way, by releasing the root cause of this structure of thinking and by implementing new choices which have you empowered and thriving and energetically vibrant! – in a nutshell.
I’d looove to honour your perfect unique, divine journey and see you flying!